As I go further into Job, still somewhat ambivalent to why
God has me here and sharing my thoughts openly, because my thoughts can get
really wild sometimes, but I am staying really close to the Lord on this
because I know me. So as I write I am
asking God, are you sure you want me to share this?
In my first post regarding my study of Job, I shared how he
was not the first that God and Satan discussed.
Yet, Job, as God stated was one of a kind. A blameless, upright man. I also think I drew the parallel between us
and Job. Our belief in Jesus has cleaned
us up. Jesus presents us as blameless
and faultless before God. Hence, the
battle has begun. So we have essentially
been placed right where Job was. We are also forewarned of this in 1 Peter 5:8
(NKJV).
8 Be sober, be vigilant; because[a]
your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may
devour. 9 Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings
are experienced by your brotherhood in the world.
So I imagine that many like me, if we had the opportunity to
speak with God about this medical negligence stuff, would have asked him to
table it. I would have begged, not me,
and please no one else. If he had said,
Veverly, you will birth a daughter. A very bright academically-multitalented
young girl, and at 13-years-old she will be struck down by medical
negligence. Her life will be changed
forever, but I will be with you through all of it, I would have kicked and
screamed, “Jesus, please, not me.”
But, since man has free will and many are led by their greed
and have little regard for human life, families like mine, find themselves at
this crossroad due to preventable medical errors. The spirits within those opposing us are sick. The reason the battle appears impossible is
because many politicians are protecting those who are killing our loved
ones. While politicians should be
protecting the public, many are not because they are benefiting from the evil.
We are warned in God’s word about these
powers and spirits. We are also
instructed to arm ourselves with the armor of God. So that we can withstand (Ephesians 6: 11:13).
11 Put on the whole armour of God,
that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we wrestle
not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers,
against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness
in high places. 13 Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may
be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Honestly, if I did not trust whole heartedly in the Lord, I
would have given in years ago. This
battle can be overwhelming to the spirit, but the Lord continues to renew my
spirit daily. It is impossible to
imagine how patients and families feel when they find themselves at this
crossroad. There is a feeling of
discouragement and hopelessness in realizing there are no built in protections
from the dishonest practices in the medical field, and that those in the law
profession are sometimes paid off to undermine the patient’s case. At that point, the brick wall appears, because
those that could help, are afraid to take a stand. Although many see and know the harm done,
self-preservation cause them to stand by and watch the struggle instead of
getting involved and stopping the killing and disabling of patients.
So as we know, Satan first destroyed Jobs possessions. This news, he actually took well. But, when he was told about the destruction
of his children, like many of us, he was devastated. As a matter of fact, this was the one thing
Job feared the most. His wife told him to curse God and die and Job rebuked her.
What I found interesting at the end of this passage is that it says “In all
this Job did not sin with his lips (Job 2:10)” I thought it was interesting
that it specified with his lips. For
me, someone who has been through a situation in which, initially, I did not
openly say what my heart was thinking (Why God? Why?)) , I think is a first
indication of Jobs inward struggle with what God was allowing in his life. He was over wrought with grief. He wished for his own death. He felt alone. I stop here because many times, we, as
Christians, know the correct responses, but God knows the inner struggle that
others are not privy to. What I see in
this passage is that Job refused to speak what was in his heart. There was a struggle going on between the
spirit and flesh.
I remember my own struggle after being told that Robyn was
brain-dead. My first question to God,
why Robyn? If tragedy was going to
strike, why not me? My biggest struggle
was when God had me to actually speak and tell the medical team and the doctors,
“God gave me life for Robyn.” I
struggled with that and wondered about my own sanity for a moment.
For most parents, I think if we were given the option when
tragedy strikes, we would take the place of our children. While Robyn, did not die. She lost parts of herself. I know we are blessed. So do not take my honesty as being
ungrateful, but the reality is we lost part of her to medical negligence.
While I was writing the first part of this post, Robyn came
into my room. I could tell she had
something on her mind the way she burst through the door. She said, “Mom, I need to talk to you.” I said “OK.”
She started,
“You
know the school he is applying to was the school I wanted to attend.” The “he” she is referring to is her younger
brother. The school, while I will not
give the name is one of the highest ranking in the U.S.
I said,
“I know.” She just stood and looked at me for a moment. I continued. “I have cried for you and prayed
for you, because I knew this had to bring back memories.”
“You
have.”
“Yes, I
have.”
“I didn’t
think you understood.”
“I
understand and it pains me. I am your mother. I knew it was coming.”
“I was
all prepared to tell you, you don’t understand.”
“Oh,
but I do.” We laughed because she was
amazed at how quickly my response disarmed her.
She told me she was prepared with one of her, you don’t understand speeches.
She was utterly amazed that I was right
there with her. But I knew when we
started visiting college information sessions for her brother, that they were
causing triggers with her. I cannot even
imagine her pain, but as a mother I know my own, and some days it is a major
struggle not to become consumed by the anguish.
This is what medical negligence has caused in our lives, but God has
been gracious and we have overcome many obstacles getting to this point, and I
told her she would get past this. She
just needs to focus on how far she has come.
Well, I will stop here.
Didn’t get very far. I am in the
very first verses of Job chapter 3. I
think I am getting off topic a bit. I
will do better next time. Not sure were God is going with this...
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