After Robyn O. Edwards surgery on October 6, 2007, we were given 72 hours. If the swelling of her brain didn't began to recede, she would not survive. Robyn's brain kept swelling. On about the 8th or 9th of October 2007, my family and I were told she was braindead. I don't remember which day because by then the knowledge of the days and time had slipped away from me.
I've already told you how it affected my being. But as I sat there. I remembered my conversations with God weeks earlier and I felt all eyes were on me. My only response was, "God gave me life when I prayed." I then excused myself from the meeeting. I needed to talk with God because I needed to know that I wasn't crazy.
My words left everyone, including my family, questioning my mental state. I was questioning my mental state. The only space I could find to talk with God was a bench infront of two elevators. I sat and began my converstaion with Him.
"Dear Lord, I've tried to be the Christian mother you would have me to be. I've failed many times....I went on for a while laying my case before Him. Then he responded to me. "I was the one who woke you at three in morning to touch Robyn in My name. I was the one who compelled you to testify before the church of what I instructed you to do. Trust Me and only Me." And this was the only reason I was able to stand because I knew that God had indeed given me life for Robyn.
Today, I still have so many questions for God. I believe one day he will reveal the answers to me. I do know that too many African Americans die and/or are maimed or left disabled because of adverse medical events, and many of the adverse events are a consequence of racism.
When I watched the story of Emmett Till, I often wondered how his mother was able to endure the open casket, the trauma, but she wanted the world to see the inhumanity, cruelty, and sickness of racism.
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